Dr. Abiy Ahmed: Dear Prime Minister...
By Mitmita Girls
April 2, 2018

Though widely favored by the public as the next PM, Dr Abiy Ahmed faces an uphill battle to score victories over agendas that run counter to the interest of TPLF.

The Mitmita Girls are back just in time for the inauguration balls in Addis—wegenoch! You guys! We have a new Prime Minister! Elelelele!

Have you booked your flight on Ethiopian Airlines? And what of your ball gowns? Ready for prova?

Everyone is atwitter about the new fella. Mitu cooed that not only is he smart, youngish (early forties!) but he is also handsome and bonus: he has a Ph.D. Be still our beating hearts!

What’s more, rumor has it that he has some fairly scandalous thoughts on women! Evidently he is progressive! Believes in women’s rights! Who allowed this roué into Arat Kilo? Woyane must have really been terrified of the Querro! These Oromo youth are Jegna! Warrior stock!

We couldn’t be sure that if he had a profile on Tinder, that Mitu wouldn’t swipe right! She is that smitten. In truth, we are all smitten. 

When was the last time we were this excited about an Ethiopian politician? (With apologies to Ato Lemma Megerssa whose very patriotic and romantic line about Ethiopia being like cocaine had us at addiction. You are right, nefsay, Ethiopia is a souse, a “can’t get her out of our mind”, omnipresent, all encompassing, overwhelming habit. Ethiopia is love. We don’t want to quit her. (If only we can get Woyane to quit all of us!)

To be sure our dearly departed Meles never conjured these types of feelings within us. And that’s not only because we are vain—the man had an uncanny resemblance to a goat, after all! It wasn’t simply his looks however—Meles did not love Ethiopia. He decimated her. His ethnocentric policies have caused damn near irreparable harm. He didn’t even pretend to be having an affair with our country. He used her, fleeced her of her resources, allowed neocolonialism to take root and fester. Meles sold our land—lock, stock and barrel—to the highest bidder. He discarded Ethiopia and all of us who love her.

Prime Minister Haile Desalegn, who came after him lacked Meles’ outward penchant for cruelty. Some may argue that he also didn’t have Meles’ snake oil salesman charm.

The Mitmita Girls have to admit that while he may have come in like a lamb, Haile Desalegn is walking out like a lion—an ambessa who attempted to wrangle some measure of humanity from the Woyane cabal — he called for the release of political prisoners. And for a few weeks some thought it possible that we can have reform—that prisoners would be released and we can protest the regime sans consequences. Alas, here we are with a state of emergency, the rearrest of political prisoners and the Ethiopian junta’s desperate attempts to cling to power no matter the cost.

Take heart, Prime Minister, mightier men have bled for Ethiopia.

It is into this space of chaos, unrest and the rearrest of political prisoners that Dr. Abiye is taking the helm as Prime Minister next week.

No doubt the Diaspora will ruin huluneger —everything—by its despondency. Before Abiye has finished his vows—promises of all he will do for Ethiopia—the Diaspora will be asking for accountability.  These people want to ruin this moment for us! Can we not just enjoy the tej at swearing day ceremonies without someone uttering revolution?

On our end, we will be hosting a watch party much like the Oscars and commenting on Dr. Abiye’s sartorial choices as he addresses the nation on Monday. Exactly what accoutrements would compliment the heavy weight that will rest on his shoulders?

Beware the corrupting influence of Woyane, hodae! As one of our friends commented, we expect the first two items of your  administration to be lifting the state of emergency and announcing the unconditional and immediate release of political prisoners.

We are not so enraptured by a handsome face that we forget the fundamentals: Sir, are your intentions towards our Ethiopia honorable?

Dr. Abiye: akkam jirta? We hope all is selam and that you come with peace and with an eye towards justice and freedom.

As the French would say bon courage! And more importantly as we would say: Berta!

The Mitmita Girls, and indeed the world, will be watching.

With lots of love,

The Mtimita Girls

 

We are celebrating 10 years! Read some classic Mitmita Girls musings on Ethiopia here!

 


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